A Life Told Through Story.
The people I work with have always been my biggest inspirations. I have heard so many painful stories and seen such incredible triumphs. They are some of the strongest, fearless and resilient people I’ve ever met. Sometimes it’s difficult to understand how these incredible people ended up at the places I have worked - at treatment centers, in foster care, homeless. They all had lives before meeting me and knowing that, is just a reminder of how easily it could have been me. When I was young I had a dream a couple times about gorilla’s taking over my grandma’s house in North Carolina. They were gorilla-people and they walked sort of like zombies. They marched in packs coming up the street and it was terrifying. Once when I woke up, I saw a gorilla-like shadow in my room and swore I heard footsteps coming towards me. The shadow ended up being a stuffed animal and the sound was just my eyes blinking. My grandma reappears the most in my dreams. Theyre usually not so traumatic. Sometimes I have conversations with her in my dreams and wake up crying happy tears. That’s the best feeling in the world.
I went to a high school that focused on art and while there I remember constantly comparing my skill with others. Who would get into the best art school? Who would make the most creative product? That burned me out before I was even 18. When I went to graduate school for art therapy about 10 years later, the focus became almost solely on the process and very little about the product. That is now what I teach those I work with. That the feeling you get when you are creating, whether sad, angry, happy or content, is the most important part of the artwork. I think I can apply that thinking to a way of life I strive for - that how you are feeling is valid, even if it’s hard. And the process is substantially more important than the product. A drawing of a tiger in a cage. I worked on it for weeks with my 5th-grade art teacher. She stayed with me after school and taught me different techniques. It won first place in an art competition at the South Florida Fair, and I was so proud of that. I think that was when I realized I had a skill, a skill that might not have been enhanced without such a dedicated teacher. It’s still framed and stored in my childhood room.
Deep colors - doesn’t matter if they are purple or blue or red or orange. They are just so deep that they look as though they are soft to the touch. Tons of pillows and blankets. Candles lit and good smells in the air - like vanilla or cinnamon. Dim lights that are soft to the eyes. Giant windows that can allow natural light to flood the space or remain covered by thick, light-proof curtains. The most comfortable bed on the planet. I love charcoal or pencil when I’m figure drawing. There’s nothing else that I find to capture the movement of a human form so effortlessly and quickly. Acrylic paint when I’m planning to work on a piece for a very long time. It takes time, dedication and attention. Collage/mixed media I find to be the most efficient and satisfying way to express my emotional experiences. That is usually only found in my sketchbook.
